3rd Pregnancy at 30: What I Really Want to Say

I haven't written on this blog in years.  I'm embarrassed about some of my old posts, so I'll just stop looking at them.  I don't even remember how to change the layout of this thing; the baby in the header background is now 5 years old and preparing for Kindergarten.  My husband and I have another little girl now as well and are currently awaiting the arrival of our 3rd kiddo.  --  In-laws, if you read this, my feelings toward interacting with other homosapians do not apply to you.  I love you guys. :)

So...

I'm taking to this blog to express what I really want to say about my current state of affairs.  I'm not one of those people to divulge negative feelings regarding my health, mental state, etc. via facebook.  I'll be the first to express my disgust toward spiders, asinine current events/policies/people in general, and current waves in education, but I try to keep my personal complaints to myself (or to this blog, apparently).

Especially about being pregnant.

When I feel the urge to complain about being pregnant, I think about how desperately I wanted a baby for years before our first daughter came along.  I think about how terrifying that pregnancy and delivery were.  I think about how blessed I felt to have our first daughter and how convinced I was that she would be my only chance at having a child.  I think about my many friends who have lost children, miscarried babies, haven't be able to (or can't) become pregnant, or have been anxiously and heart-breakingly awaiting positive news from adoption agencies.

And I guilt myself into being quiet... into acting as though everything is great when I have to make actual human contact (which I detest most days).

What I really want to say is this:

This pregnancy is hard.  Sometimes, it just flat out sucks.  I'm more than elated to have another baby, and I would experience all of this time and again if it would result in what I know will be the 4th major love of my life (husband, kiddo #1, kiddo #2, eventual kiddo #3), but it sucks.  If you run into me at the store, and I have no make-up on and look like I just crawled out of a grave, please do us both a favor and keep your head down while passing.  I don't want to be out in public anymore than you want to look at me.

What I really want to say is:  No.  I don't think I'll be functioning today.  I think I'll just plant myself on the couch and not be a human for a while. 

I'm 16 weeks in, and I've been nauseous and extraordinarily exhausted the entire time.  The ENTIRE time.  Some days, I literally can't even walk up the stairs.  My legs and arms don't want to move; I lie on the couch trying to will myself to get up; imagine myself moving; but nothing happens.  Some days, my body just shuts down, and I cannot keep my eyes open.  And I hate it.  I have 2 beautiful, energetic little girls who need their mommy to play with them, and 75% of the time, I just can't.

I'm nauseous and starving but rarely have an appetite.  I know.  Crazy.  I'm ginormous and getting bigger every single day, and is it insane that I feel as though I should at least be able to eat delicious food if I have to look like this?

Today is Day 3 of my husband being out of town for 3 weeks worth of trainings.  He is working so hard, and I genuinely appreciate all he does for our family.  He's awesome, and I don't envy him right now.  I can't do what he does.  The reality of it though:  the girls miss him terribly; the two year old is confused and doesn't understand; the 5 year old is angry; I'm wiped out and trying to hold it together; the house is a mess, but I have no energy to do anything about it; I've been trying to potty train my youngest (to no avail); my iron is low; my random cramps are debilitating and strike at the most inopportune times; I feel like death; and I woke up this morning with a rash from head to toe.  A freaking rash.  While it's most likely an allergic reaction to my antibiotic and will hopefully dissipate, I can't help but feel annoyed.  It's dumb.

Oh, and not being able to get anyone at the doctor's office to answer the phone for 2 hours this morning?  That was reassuring.  And "take some Benadryl; see if it helps; and let us know"?  Oh, OK.  I'll get right on that.  I'm sure it won't make me drowsy at all as I take care of the girls by myself since I already have so much energy.

I just want to feel better.  I want to be a good mom for my kids.

What I really want to say is:  Moms who feel great during pregnancy -- good for you.  I'm genuinely happy for you.  That's awesome.  I don't know what it's like, but congrats.  I'm pretty sure you're government-planted robots, but hey, kuddos to you.

I should conclude this with a cheesy, but-it's-all-worth-it-in-the-end type of statement.  I'm not mentally prepared for that.  It is worth it.  Totally worth it.  It's also completely fair to vent once in a while.

Gina's Zucchini Pizza Bites

I know I wrote about Gina's Skinny Recipes a couple of weeks ago, but I just made her Zucchini Pizza Bites and oh my goodness....

My husband and I are having friends over for dinner tomorrow night, and I've planned a meal that won't ruin my WW week.  I'm cooking options for regular eaters as well as those of us who are dieting.  We're grilling, so the main course will be burgers and hot dogs.  However, in addition to hamburgers, there will be turkey burgers.  :-)  I'm making a yummy (light but doesn't taste light) potato salad and I'm trying Gina's baked onion rings.  I also wanted to try these zucchini pizza bites as appetizers.  I'm not a huge fan of zucchini unless it's in my great grandma's oh-so-tasty bread, so I thought I should try them before feeding them to everyone.  Well... I just made them, and they're fabulous.

I love them.  They taste good and are a great snack but more importantly, they're SO EASY.  I can totally see how it would be fun to make these with kids.  Plus, it would be a great, healthy snack for picky kiddos because of the pizza disguise.  :-)

If you have any zucchini sitting around, this is a great recipe.  I did everything she advised except for the pizza sauce.  I looked at the price of pre-made pizza sauce in comparison to the price of a tiny can of tomato sauce and decided to go with the tomato sauce.  I just added some salt, pepper, garlic powder, and oregano.  It tastes just fine.

Gina's Zucchini Pizza Bites

Soooo Stressed!

I haven't been blogging lately because of everything that is going on.  I am beyond stressed and overwhelmed with this move.

In June, our little family is packing up and moving across the country.  Yes, we'll be close to family and friends... FINALLY, but we're teachers.  Teachers do not get paid during the summer.  Plus, I haven't even been working this year (SAHM), so we're already suffocating financially.  I have a brilliant idea!  Let's add a cross-country move to the mix!

We have been incredibly blessed this week as I have accepted a job offer.  We have the security of knowing at least one of us will be bringing in an income and will have access to insurance in a few months.  This is a huge relief.  I just wish my husband would receive a call.  He's an amazing teacher and cares more about his students than anyone could possibly know.  He has accomplished incredible things here.  His resume is awesome.  The employment opportunities just aren't there.  His content area is not in high demand, and the market is flooded.  The one place where we felt slightly optimistic he would find a job has received over 80 applicants.  Who wants to risk hiring someone on the opposite side of the country when they have 80 people ready to walk in the door?

It's stressful to say the least.  My heart goes out to my husband.  He's one of these guys who has to work hard and provide for his family in order to feel any sort of self-worth.  I'm grateful for that; I just wish I could pull out a magic wand and create a teaching position for him.  :-)

We also still have no place to live.  Our family members are all willing to let us stay with them until we find a place.  Again... awesome.  I just hate all of this uncertainty.  I am one who must have a plan and schedule.  I have to know exactly what is happening each day, or I am an absolute mess.  I need to know we have a house waiting on us somewhere.

Bleh.  I'm so sick of looking for houses and job vacancies.  If you hear a loud crunching sound, that's just me throwing my computer into the street.

Healthy, AMAZING Recipes... In LOVE With This Site

My Weight Watchers journey is progressing well, and I think I've finally learned to cook.  That helps.  However, I've been repeating many of the same recipes, and they're starting to feel a bit monotonous.  In an effort to find new recipe ideas, I stumbled upon Gina's Skinny Recipes at SkinnyTaste.com.  I am so excited about this site and want to share.

Each recipe is presented with step-by-step instructions and pictures demonstrating what each step should look like.  This is AWESOME as I am not a natural in the kitchen.  Plus, all of the Points+ values are already calculated!  Even if you're not doing Weight Watchers, you can still plan these healthy meals into your daily routine.  All of the nutritional information is provided as well.  =)

I couldn't have found this website at a better time.  My husband's grandfather is visiting in a few days, and I've been racking my brain about dinner options.  I want to continue to cook healthy food, but I also need really good recipes that everyone will like.  I am definitely picking through these Skinny Recipes with a fine-tooth comb.

If you're looking to change up your recipe box and wanting to try some healthier options, check out this site.  :-)  You will not be disappointed.

Just a couple of examples:

Sweet Light Angel Food Cupcakes

Chicken Rollatini with Prosciutto and Cheese

FATspiration Tip #5

I haven't written a FATspiration tip in a while, so here goes...

FATspiration Tip #5:  Eat every 3 hours and keep a daily food/drink journal.

I've seen this done on all of the FAT shows recently, but when it was recommended by my beautiful, skinny cousin, I knew it had to be true.  :-)  She's one of those people who makes a fat girl want to spit out the candy she just stuffed in her mouth.  This woman has an amazing body, gorgeous hair, and a very pretty face.  The worst part?  She's so ridiculously nice that you can't hate her.  :-)  Seriously though, she works really hard to keep her body looking as awesome as it does, AND she's really into the fitness world.  She knows her stuff.

According to this wonderful lady, eating every 3 hours keeps your metabolism going.  Obviously, sitting on your couch with a box of Twinkies ready to fill your "every 3 hour" requirement is not what we're shooting for.  Personally, I like to keep a bag of fresh almonds in my kitchen (no salt or sugar added).  If it's been a few hours and I'm not ready for a meal, I just grab a few almonds.  If I remember correctly, I can have about 23 for 4 Points.  I don't even come close to eating 23, so it is a healthy, filling, super low-Point food.

I can also speak from experience regarding the food journal.  Tracking your food is a component of WW, and it has really helped me.  Those of us who are addicted to food go through bouts of denial.  When I first started keeping a journal, I could not believe how much I had been eating before WW.  It was disgusting and kind of scary.  Even now, when I don't lose during a week, I know it's because I didn't keep detailed track of my food on a particular day.  I think I'll remember it later, but it's really easy to forget.

In addition to keeping a journal, even if you're not doing WW, you should set goals for how many glasses of water you want to drink each day.  I love having the little water tracker on my WW tool.  During the weeks I lose the most, I meet my daily water goals.  Tracking it keeps me aware and motivates me to make sure I'm drinking enough.  On Saturday, I looked back through my previous WW weeks.  The water is a huge factor.

If you're trying to shed some pounds, add the food journal to your plan and make sure you eat healthy snacks throughout the day.  :-)  Good luck!

Click here to visit my cousin's new blog!  She has a lot of great ideas about saving money.  :-)

Healthier (and Super Easy) Calzones

I tried a new recipe/creation this evening, and my husband really liked it.  It was super easy, quick, and would be a fun meal for kids so I thought I would share.  I found a basic recipe on the WW site but changed it to be more flavorful and filling.  You could change/add whatever you like to make it suitable for your family.

4 Servings

Ingredients:
10oz frozen pizza dough (I just used an 11oz thin crust refrigerated dough.)
     -room temperature
4Tbsp Fat-free canned tomato sauce
1/4 cup (or more) Part-Skim Mozzarella Cheese (Shredded)
Pepperoni?
Ground Turkey?
1 garlic clove (finely chopped)
Onion (finely chopped, just enough for a sprinkle on each piece of dough)
Pinch of salt and pepper
Whatever else you want to add!

Instructions:
Roll out dough on baking sheet.  Form it into a square and cut into 4 smaller squares.  Add a Tbsp of sauce to each piece of dough.  Spread.  Sprinkle with garlic, onion, salt, pepper, and cheese.  Add additional toppings.  Fold dough in half diagonally or pull up each corner.  pinch the corners or edges together.  Bake at 375 for 11-15 minutes.

I only used one slice of pepperoni on mine but 5 on the others for my husband.  I needed to keep my Points low.  Next time, I'll plan for more points and add a little ground turkey.  I think I'll also add some chopped green pepper.  :)  Again, this is a really easy recipe and quick to throw together.  It would also be a fun meal for the kids to help prepare.  :)

If you try it and have any suggestions, please comment below!

1st Shopping Trip With Coupons

A while ago, I posted a response about TLC's Extreme Couponing show.  Well... yesterday was my first shopping trip with a tiny bundle of organized coupons.  Hah. I was so proud of myself.  I only saved $11.00, but I look it as I SAVED $11.00!!!

I was really excited.  My husband saw the packed cart and didn't think we were going to stay within our budget.  It felt really good to see the final total on the screen at the register.  He was surprised, and I was happy.

This is only the beginning....