Monday, November 15, 2010

Losing the Baby Weight: Part 2

To read the beginning of this journey (Part 1), click here.

At the conclusion of my first official week of trying to lose weight, I have this to share:

It sucked.  It was insanely difficult, and I hated it.  After a couple days, I think my body went into shock.  My stomach was probably FREAKED out to no end about the decent food it was processing.  I actually  got a little sick for a day.

I did lose 4 pounds though.  I also kept to a reasonable diet.  I tried the whole no carbs thing a few weeks ago and only lasted 2 days.  This time, I monitored my carbs during the day (stayed under 20 net carbs) and  ate a good dinner.  I didn't go crazy and splurge with my dinner meals.  I kept them as healthy as I could, while not sacrificing flavor.  I've learned that depriving myself 24/7 absolutely does not work.

Even with the 4 pound loss, I couldn't make it through the weekend and gained 2 pounds back.  I was literally thinking about food every second of the day.  We had a scare with our 4 day old cousin, and I desperately wanted to camp out on the couch with a bag of Reese's.  The next day, when I found out about my great uncle (grandfather figure) having congestive heart failure... I made brownies.  Honestly though, I think the act of baking is my therapy.  I always thought the product was what made me feel better, but this time, I put the brownies in the oven and FORGOT about them.  I remember feeling the release of emotions as I was mixing the batter but didn't think much of it.  As I was sliding the pan onto the oven rack, my husband came home from work.  I handed him the baby so I could go for a walk (needed to get  out of the house).  Toward the end of the walk, I remembered the brownies in the oven and didn't even rush home.  Plus, it gave my husband a taste of what it's like to get a bottle ready, feed the baby, and deal with food cooking in the kitchen.  

I hadn't binged on the brownies, but the next day, we attended the birthday party of a 2 year old.  Naturally, I didn't turn down cake... or spaghetti... or amazing dip... or another brownie... or a cupcake.  Then, I had to go to town today.  It's a 5 hour round trip, so I indulged in fast food.  I figured I had already ruined anything I had started anyway.  I can actually say I ordered small fries and a cheeseburger from McDonald's and couldn't eat the fries.  They just didn't taste as good as they usually do.  Sure, they were hot and salted to perfection.  My body just didn't want them.  It was telling me to stop.  

Now... my revelation:  I feel like shit.  Seriously.  After the weekend "off", my stomach is churning.  As difficult as last week was, my mind wasn't as clouded, I didn't have my usual headaches, and once I got used to the food change, I felt better.  Tonight, I'm crampy, bloated, and just feel disgusting.  I'm not doing this again.  I'm more motivated than ever.  There is a reason we call that crap "junk food".  I feel like garbage tossed out on a junk pile.  Bleh.

I hope this experience helps me throughout the rest of this week.  I'm sure I'll still fall into the whole grass is greener slump and think about food constantly, but I really believe it will be a little (if only even a hair) easier over the next few days.

1 comment:

  1. I totally relate. This week has all been about comfort foods for my soul...meaning cookies and brownies and leftover sour patch kids from Halloween. Ugh. but you know what? You've started already and have managed to lose weight. That's awesome. This stuff doesn't happen overnight so give yourself credit for what you DID do!