This week as been particularly crazy for some reason, and my "to do" list is suffocating me. I was so frustrated today because I needed a break. I still need a break. I love my daughter, but I wish I had my mom and mother-in-law around to help sometimes. I really need a day to get caught up and chill out.
When my husband finally got home today, he could tell I was annoyed and wanted his help. He had had the day "off" which means, of course, that he planned enough crap to take up the entire morning and much of the afternoon. Shortly after he walked in the door, he took over baby duty so I could go to the grocery store. Oh, yay! The grocery store! It's a whole 2 minutes from my house! What a treat! I might have been gone a total of 20 minutes. Yes, I needed to get out of the house and have a little time off from constant baby watch, but when I got back home, all I wanted to do was hold my daughter.
Later, I wanted to take advantage of my husband being home and have him watch Emma again so I could do the dishes. She can flip her bouncer seat, rolls all over the place when on the floor, and isn't quite big enough to be in her jumperoo for more than a few minutes. She needs constant attention. I fixed a bottle and put him to work feeding her. The longer I washed the dishes, the more upset I became about her falling asleep with him instead of me. I put her to sleep every night. It actually made me sad to be away from her even though she was only 10 feet from me. Eventually, I conceded, left the dishes and asked if I could have her back.
I need help.
I want to run away....
yet I can't be without my daughter.
She just turned 5 months old this week. Is this going to get better? I don't want to be an overbearing mom, and I don't want my kid to be one of those babies who is afraid of everyone but Mommy. I keep saying we need to have someone babysit her for a few minutes a week so she'll be OK around other people, but I think it's me. I think I'm the one who needs to try to stay away from her a few minutes every other day or so. I don't know what I'll do when I have to go back to work. We can't afford to live this way forever.
The developmental information out there for babies my daughter's age says she might start exhibiting separation anxiety soon. I think I'm the one with the separation anxiety.