Monday, November 1, 2010

Sometimes It Just Has to Get Worse Before It Gets Better

Sometimes, we get ourselves into situations where we don't even know how to begin to dig ourselves out.  It almost always will get worse before it gets better, but we have to jump in and start somewhere.

What am I talking about?  Cleaning the master bedroom, of course.  Since the last month or so of my pregnancy, I have completely let that room go.  At nine months pregnant, I was too ginormous to clean that horrible room.  After the c-section and having a newborn to take care of, I didn't have the energy.  Then... I don't know what happened.  The bedroom seemed to take on a mind of its own.  It was out of control; I didn't know where to start; so I just ignored it.  What's the point of keeping it clean anyway?  We only sleep in there.  : )  

Every night before I would try to go to bed, I would stare at the piles and piles of clothes waiting to be put away.  I would think about how disgusting the room was and how terrified I was to clean it.  The mess was the first thing I saw when I got up in the mornings, and I would think the same things again and again.  Until today.  I got up this morning, fed the kid, and just... started.  I didn't know where to begin, and honestly, it didn't matter, so I just started where I stood and worked my way around.  I managed to make the rest of the house look worse as the bedroom looked better, but I'm finally finished.  It only took the ENTIRE day, but my husband and I can retire to a clean room with no clutter.  I can be confident in the middle of the night that I won't trip over random objects scattered about the floor when my daughter cries.  I finally fought the beast that was our bedroom, and I won.  Perhaps it was my desire to make a change, confront the last remaining smudge in a decently clean house; perhaps it was me realizing I needed to kick myself into gear.  Perhaps... or most definitely... it was the yearly housing inspection in our rented house.  Hah.  

I do, however, think this is true to life.  Sometimes, we get ourselves into places where we just have to start somewhere, push ourselves to make it better, and be ok with the fact that things will most definitely get worse before they start to look up.  Sometimes, it takes some sort of kick in the rear to get us going.  My kick was the house inspection.  Whatever the motivation is, it's just a physical representation of what we already feel.  Maybe things don't even get worse before they get better.  Maybe we're just so sick of being in a bad place that we begin to appreciate the small changes.  I don't know... but I'm glad the bedroom is clean.  : )

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